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Sunday 25 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

#20180075
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25085) - you deserved it (2341)

On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24481) - you deserved it (3929)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

#20169074
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29198) - you deserved it (2211)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20603) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31046) - you deserved it (8804)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

#20182910
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you deserved it (1567)

On 11/28/2012 at 6:04pm - love - by some things never change (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25934) - you deserved it (2277)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27539) - you deserved it (5291)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18891) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

#20176638
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6761) - you deserved it (22559)

On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

#20181011
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23018) - you deserved it (1948)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18381) - you deserved it (6867)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21465) - you deserved it (2241)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)



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