Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 25 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17536) - you deserved it (3510)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16957) - you deserved it (5683)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

#20183421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20788) - you deserved it (5946)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

#20169074
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (1859)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

#20169793
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17185) - you deserved it (1430)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

#20180075
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19882) - you deserved it (1904)

On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16387) - you deserved it (897)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML

#20181219
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15095) - you deserved it (4749)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

#20182910
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19532) - you deserved it (1042)

On 11/28/2012 at 6:04pm - love - by some things never change (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML

#20177886
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20817) - you deserved it (881)

On 11/25/2012 at 8:28am - money - by WritingWrongs - United States

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (25205)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

#20170839
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7693) - you deserved it (18919)

On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20126) - you deserved it (1628)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: