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Sunday 25 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML

#20174862
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27278) - you deserved it (4321)

On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14875) - you deserved it (31061)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

#20174308
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31722) - you deserved it (8064)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today, my friend spilt orange juice all over my iPad. She then went ahead to clean it off by rinsing it with water. FML

#20187648
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25829) - you deserved it (2545)

On 12/02/2012 at 5:16am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47077) - you deserved it (13968)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML

#20183504
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7976) - you deserved it (81601)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
166 comments

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

#20179140
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23136) - you deserved it (2315)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

#20182185
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30537) - you deserved it (2835)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18578) - you deserved it (16215)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML

#20186892
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9549) - you deserved it (27101)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:11pm - health - by Awkward (woman) - Bahrain

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29222) - you deserved it (3363)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

#20182587
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6045) - you deserved it (41778)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)



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