Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 22 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19529) - you deserved it (4452)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

#20175687
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22925) - you deserved it (1453)

On 11/23/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20143) - you deserved it (2726)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML

#20182071
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7419) - you deserved it (26402)

On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25176) - you deserved it (14222)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20301) - you deserved it (2854)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML

#20177683
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6423) - you deserved it (24516)

On 11/25/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Jocelyn - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML

#20174185
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18398) - you deserved it (1330)

On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States

Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

#20174445
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17883) - you deserved it (2509)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

#20175516
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18625) - you deserved it (1085)

On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I yet again purposely avoided the 'Health and Fitness' section on pinterest to keep my self-esteem up. FML

#20171929
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6719) - you deserved it (13863)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:20am - health - by fatty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got laid off. Why would they lay me off right before the holidays? Because they want to make sure every one else gets a nice holiday bonus. FML

#20173186
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19908) - you deserved it (1250)

On 11/21/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML

#20183071
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13237) - you deserved it (823)

On 11/28/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: