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Thursday 22 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , My Grlfriend Cummed Over To A Family Game Night!! Halfway Through A Game Of Klingon Monopoly , My Drunk Parents Started Arguing Because Apparently , While My Dad Was In Jail , He Cheated On My Mom With A Klingon Whore!! I Doubt My Grlfriend Will Ever Visit Again!! FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22990) - you deserved it (2378)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, mah husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up mah backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the waterhen he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28348) - you deserved it (1622)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today... I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs an said... ( Honk honk ). Unbeknownst to me... my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11324) - you deserved it (27455)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Taday I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day... grlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly... and I screamed lyk a little grl. 30 people watched... 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10373) - you deserved it (21638)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addictionho can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single fir two years and I don't even pick mah nose. FML

#20179069
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19233) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

I was working the dart game at mah local amusement parkhen a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicatd, an they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML

Today , drunk at a party , I leaned through a window to throw up . I was outside . FML

#20182175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8821) - you deserved it (28596) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself an the person in the next stall. In rush to get out of there, I managed to get ass stuck in the toilet seat, an ended up bieng pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17845) - you deserved it (7170)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today Ma Girlfriend Looked Me Straigt In Te Eye An Said, "I Know About Te Sea Turtles." I Asked Er Wat Se Was Talking About An Se Said, "Next Time, Sut Up Or I'll Sow You Pain." I Ave No Idea Wat Se's Talking About. FML

#20170012
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21991) - you deserved it (2062)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today , a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit an began throwing merchandise everywhere , including at mah face , because we r Canadian an don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" fir "devoted shoppers" lyk her. FML

#20181556
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20135) - you deserved it (1522)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Tadayhile working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost an wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face an harsh words 4 supposedly having kidnapped him. real FML

#20183959
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23802) - you deserved it (1500)

On 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm - work - by bitch i'm a gerontophile (man) - Taiwan

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20967) - you deserved it (3703)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had some soup that my dad made . I took one sip and found he had puttd tons of hot sauce in it . I rushd to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had usd it as an ash tray the night before . I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash . FML

#20179829
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25444) - you deserved it (2919)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)



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