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Thursday 22 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26215) - you deserved it (2762)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

#20171812
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19355) - you deserved it (4824)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to my mother-in-law wearing the gold chain which I usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searched my drawer only to find out my chain was missing. I asked my mother-in-law if she took it and she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML

#20183636
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28617) - you deserved it (1718)

On 11/29/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by elizabeth - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22487) - you deserved it (3382)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23972) - you deserved it (3177)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13057) - you deserved it (30304)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

#20177257
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28982) - you deserved it (2034)

On 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

#20175635
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19687) - you deserved it (3075)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

#20171880
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33036) - you deserved it (3587)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29480) - you deserved it (2118)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20890) - you deserved it (7743)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27738) - you deserved it (3161)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)



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