Thursday 22 November 2012 
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Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24433) - you deserved it (6473)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13454) - you deserved it (932)
On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came home to my mother-in-law wearing the gold chain which I usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searched my drawer only to find out my chain was missing. I asked my mother-in-law if she took it and she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19022) - you deserved it (940)
On 11/29/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by elizabeth - United States (Nevada)
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14018) - you deserved it (2539)
On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16080) - you deserved it (1554)
On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18230) - you deserved it (1866)
On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)
Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11602) - you deserved it (2516)
On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17605) - you deserved it (933)
On 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm - work - by bitch i'm a gerontophile (man) - Taiwan
Today, this really big woman asked me for some cigarettes. I didn't have any, which made her angry. Angry enough to pick me up, stuff me in a dumpster, and sit on the lid. I still smell like garbage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19356) - you deserved it (1312)
On 11/28/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19837) - you deserved it (1210)
On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)
Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10648) - you deserved it (2980)
On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16849) - you deserved it (1296)
On 11/28/2012 at 10:14am - work - by hawksbc (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14850) - you deserved it (2049)
On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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