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Thursday 22 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25235) - you deserved it (3039)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

#20173484
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22062) - you deserved it (5491)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34084) - you deserved it (4103)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18825) - you deserved it (4301)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML

#20177780
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25528) - you deserved it (1821)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

#20176711
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12040) - you deserved it (14917)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by Anonymous Cunt (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML

#20181219
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (6656)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

#20169074
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30280) - you deserved it (2309)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11499) - you deserved it (23899)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

#20170839
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10108) - you deserved it (28886)

On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same song. FML

#20183806
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20361) - you deserved it (3917)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21789) - you deserved it (2365)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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