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Thursday 22 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21590) - you deserved it (3382)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML

#20180681
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22311) - you deserved it (11921)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18084) - you deserved it (43720)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought my sold-out tickets on the black market for double the retail price, and have no way of getting my money back. FML

#20184120
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10603) - you deserved it (35134)

On 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm - misc - by faen (man) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (2899)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

#20169340
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34411) - you deserved it (4286)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

#20178699
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27982) - you deserved it (3226)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, the battery cables on my car came loose, thus resetting my car's electronics to factory settings. The anti-theft system is now turned on, and I can't start my car with it on. Luckily, it turns off with a remote. The remote broke about six months ago. FML

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24130) - you deserved it (4451)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

#20177960
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8452) - you deserved it (32406)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24190) - you deserved it (2923)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18719) - you deserved it (4286)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33611) - you deserved it (4067)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



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