Thursday 22 November 2012 
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Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19405) - you deserved it (1470)
On 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm - misc - by vanillatwilight2 (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17405) - you deserved it (1018)
On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29554) - you deserved it (2073)
On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20636) - you deserved it (3013)
On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States
Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (2904)
On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13850) - you deserved it (11354)
On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States
Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19629) - you deserved it (1686)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23565) - you deserved it (1979)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17980) - you deserved it (3704)
On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36368) - you deserved it (9568)
On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17428) - you deserved it (1540)
On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4311) - you deserved it (29120)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)
Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17416) - you deserved it (2193)
On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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