Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 21 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

#20173791
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16279) - you deserved it (902)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14158) - you deserved it (2121)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

#20174337
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21798) - you deserved it (1563)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15253) - you deserved it (6202)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

#20177730
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24732) - you deserved it (2373)

On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

#20170511
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18418) - you deserved it (2753)

On 11/20/2012 at 1:47am - kids - by lea5459 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

#20171321
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20420) - you deserved it (1320)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19846) - you deserved it (2018)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

#20180442
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8845) - you deserved it (23926)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm - work - by shark - United States (Texas)

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML

#20180462
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21822) - you deserved it (1775)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, a few of my friends and I went laser tagging. I had been smart enough to wear black since I know white glows in the dark. Unfortunately, the dandruff glowing in my hair gave me away. FML

#20180680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18043) - you deserved it (7663)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by tarlyo2012 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

#20170919
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23076) - you deserved it (7895)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML

#20168945
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25724) - you deserved it (3692)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: