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Wednesday 21 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today I went to a restaurant with mah boyfriend. After dessert he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over an paid the bill thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned he broke up with me fir "emasculating" him. FML

#20180957
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25166) - you deserved it (4161)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

TODAY, MY BOYFRIEND DUMPED ME BY TROWING MY STUFF OUT OF IS PLACE, AND ACCUSING ME OF CEATINGILE YELLING, ( CEATER, CEATER! PUMPKIN EATER! ) WEN I TRIED EXPLAINING TAT I AVE NO CLUEAT E'S TALKING ABOUT, E STARTED EXCLAIMING, ( LIAR, LIAR! PANTS ON FIRE! ) FML

#20180296
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24764) - you deserved it (2986)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decidd to surprise ma boyfriend by waking im up wit a blowjob, because e ad always told me tat it was a sexy fantasy of is . Wen e finally woke up, e got pissd off, rudely accusd me of interrupting is beauty sleep, ten soundly lay back down and fell asleep again . FML

#20169340
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today , I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression an then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23159) - you deserved it (2275)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

yastarday mah girlfriand startd bawling , saying that our ralationship wouldn't work. Why? Bacausa if Justin and Salana can't do it , no ona can. FML

#20178699
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29707) - you deserved it (3420)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today I witnessd a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens wit stolen goods in is ands. Te manager was running after im. Trying to be elpful I pulld forward to block te tief from getting away. Te cops sowd up an arrestd me fir itting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24381) - you deserved it (4478)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride , my wife turnd down sex , because "it's too cliché." big fat FML

#20179174
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (3166)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today I took a pregnancy test . When I saw that the result was positive I started crying and showed mah mom . She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test . real FML

#20177960
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8520) - you deserved it (32604)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on mah pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25505) - you deserved it (3058)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online 4 the first time . All he could talk about was how he expect me to "clean , cook , and submit" my body 4 sex at least twice a dayhen we get married . FML

#20173484
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22157) - you deserved it (5499)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend startd watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to fed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18957) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, an hour after having looool been turnd down 4 sex, I walkd in on mah wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34175) - you deserved it (4106)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I walked into ma ouse wit ma friend, only to discover ma usband alf-naked and yelling at te TV screen over a soccer game. By alf-naked, I mean e was only wereing a srt. FML

#20169569
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21878) - you deserved it (2374)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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