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Tuesday 20 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10958) - you deserved it (22423)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22064) - you deserved it (2067)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17919) - you deserved it (7183)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

#20181556
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21375) - you deserved it (1617)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21040) - you deserved it (3714)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25644) - you deserved it (1793)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25527) - you deserved it (2928)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

#20170511
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20394) - you deserved it (2973)

On 11/20/2012 at 1:47am - kids - by lea5459 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

#20171812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18340) - you deserved it (4682)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I called Costco to ask them not to renew my membership because of financial problems. The man on the phone spent 30 minutes telling me why I'm a fool to leave and I ended up with a renewed $55 membership and 25 minutes over my minute allowance. FML

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

#20177257
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27507) - you deserved it (1934)

On 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

#20174337
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25480) - you deserved it (1821)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

#20172058
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (1959)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)



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