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Tuesday 20 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23992) - you deserved it (4436)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

#20177960
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8372) - you deserved it (32260)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (2921)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33406) - you deserved it (4050)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

#20176711
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11918) - you deserved it (14858)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by Anonymous Cunt (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML

#20181219
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19968) - you deserved it (6504)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11249) - you deserved it (23556)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21097) - you deserved it (2297)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I've now worked on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, the weekend after that, and two days this week. My husband and son have had all that time off, and yet I've still ended up having to clean the dishes and the house after them on all of these days. FML

#20181186
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24572) - you deserved it (4965)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:05pm - work - by bored - United States

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

#20181869
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38208) - you deserved it (2396)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19308) - you deserved it (3908)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

#20175626
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26138) - you deserved it (2979)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)



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