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Tuesday 20 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17677) - you deserved it (7150)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

#20177730
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26356) - you deserved it (2500)

On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)

Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML

#20179494
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25440) - you deserved it (2734)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7306) - you deserved it (32247)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my long distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be expecting the super long love letter that I poured my heart into and sent him a week ago. FML

#20176109
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24764) - you deserved it (2019)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:02am - love - by whatever (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

#20170919
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24468) - you deserved it (8151)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16539) - you deserved it (3679)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

#20173791
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21807) - you deserved it (1467)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17546) - you deserved it (2548)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

#20171321
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21516) - you deserved it (1409)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (2183)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

#20180442
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10030) - you deserved it (26747)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm - work - by shark - United States (Texas)

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML

#20180462
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23750) - you deserved it (1949)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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