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Monday 19 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

#20177960
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9529) - you deserved it (35279)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

#20175626
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29154) - you deserved it (3268)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23534) - you deserved it (2531)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35251) - you deserved it (5162)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15062) - you deserved it (34126)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22146) - you deserved it (4317)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

#20169074
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32174) - you deserved it (2442)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25627) - you deserved it (3066)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

#20176638
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7592) - you deserved it (24672)

On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34353) - you deserved it (4119)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23783) - you deserved it (7158)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19509) - you deserved it (46260)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

#20169793
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25638) - you deserved it (2350)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)



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