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Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23530) - you deserved it (2530)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37639) - you deserved it (3826)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35245) - you deserved it (5162)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25426) - you deserved it (3051)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14333) - you deserved it (32990)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML

#20162787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33280) - you deserved it (4291)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21742) - you deserved it (4252)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

#20169074
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32155) - you deserved it (2440)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

#20170920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25626) - you deserved it (3066)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

#20176638
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7591) - you deserved it (24672)

On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34339) - you deserved it (4119)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18541) - you deserved it (2553)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23782) - you deserved it (7157)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)



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