Animals: Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked...

By TehUglyLife - 29/07/2013 19:11 - United States - Jacksonville Beach

Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 902

You deserved it 14 165

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Same thing different taste

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 078

You deserved it 7 339

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 783

You deserved it 9 199

Flash, ah ah!

By Dumb, Dumber, and Dumberer - 12/10/2022 20:00

Today, a bird ran into my window. My overzealous cat ran at it like the Flash and smashed his face in the window. He yelped and ran away, then as I was running to see if he was OK, I slammed my face in the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 256

Snap!

By wheelchairgirl - 16/12/2016 01:21 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 374

You deserved it 1 109

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 736

You deserved it 8 408

By Twitchy - 14/09/2011 23:20 - Bahamas

Today, I watched a cat pounce on a small bird and rip it to shreds, feather by feather. It wouldn't have been any worse than mildly disturbing, had I not just spent the last 4 weeks nursing the bird back to health from a broken wing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 757

You deserved it 3 158

By birdsterrifyme - 23/03/2015 04:42 - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 163

You deserved it 4 372

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 554

You deserved it 61 959

Do a backflip!

By Anonymous - 22/02/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 129

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 5 231

cuppycakeslove 20

Tuesday 30 July 2013 1:40

More like **** that poor birds life.

mikailanicole98 11

Tuesday 30 July 2013 1:47

I could just see it now, "Today, a human tried to help me recover from a broken wing, but the idiot walked straight into a door with me still in its hands, breaking my other wing. FML"

Comments

ladyvidel 19

Tuesday 30 July 2013 1:39

That sucks, sorry OP.

leopardwilliam 22

Tuesday 30 July 2013 1:42

What a creative comment!

ILoveMyArm 15

Tuesday 30 July 2013 1:48

@11 Wow, another comment complaining about a comment! Those are rare.

buddy51 23

Tuesday 30 July 2013 3:21

#21- Almost as rare a comments complaining about comments complaining about comments......

lonewolf621 17

Tuesday 30 July 2013 3:25

And how is this supposed to help?

VenomSiphon 13

Tuesday 30 July 2013 5:25

I hope OP was like TAAAKE...THESE BROKEN WINGS...AND LEARN TO FLY AGAIN, LEARN TO LIVE SO FREE

MadisonDerp 16

Tuesday 30 July 2013 1:39

Second comment.. My life goal is complete

asparagus12 21

Tuesday 30 July 2013 1:41

Nope! #2. The first to lose.

cuppycakeslove 20

Tuesday 30 July 2013 1:43

You must have a sad life if that's your life goal.

MadisonDerp 16

Tuesday 30 July 2013 1:43

Well I thought it was first comment before I refreshed it, but then I couldn't delete it..

cuppycakeslove 20

Tuesday 30 July 2013 1:40

More like **** that poor birds life.

mikailanicole98 11

Tuesday 30 July 2013 1:47

I could just see it now, "Today, a human tried to help me recover from a broken wing, but the idiot walked straight into a door with me still in its hands, breaking my other wing. FML"

hcollins1 18

Tuesday 30 July 2013 3:41

Well 19, with both of its wings broken, it would be hard for the bird to write the FML haha

deadhead419 15

Tuesday 30 July 2013 5:13

Shut up

badluckross 21

Tuesday 30 July 2013 5:45

#19 and #44 I think when OP says all but breaking its other wing they really mean that the bird broke everything BUT its other wing.

SneezyBear 27

Tuesday 30 July 2013 6:05

#61, sorry to be a grammar nazi here but 'all but breaking his other wing' has a different meaning to 'breaking all but his other wing'. The phrase 'all but' in the former sentence means 'very nearly' or 'for all intents and purposes' while in the latter it means 'all except'. Repeat apology for being a grammar nazi ><

cmayer 20

Tuesday 30 July 2013 9:21

Thanks 63! I've always understood the phrase but it's never been explained so clearly and that made my understanding of it that much better. :)

SneezyBear 27

Tuesday 30 July 2013 14:39

You're welcome cmayer :D in fact both 'all buts' really have the same meaning ('all except') - imagine the sentence reworded as 'the bird's wing was all but broken' -> the bird's wing was battered/bruised/shattered, everything except actually broken. 'all but breaking the bird's wing' is the exact same phrase, just a re-ordering of the words. Why am I going on about this so in-depth? *flees*