Sunday 18 November 2012 
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Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12495) - you deserved it (4727)
On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16655) - you deserved it (1620)
On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went out and bought a copy of Black Ops 2. I got home and opened the case, only to see the game disk was missing. When I went back to the store to complain, the guy at the desk accused me of trying to pull an old scam on him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17417) - you deserved it (1475)
On 11/23/2012 at 12:20pm - money - by FUCK A FUCKING DUCK (man) - Bahamas (New Providence)
Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20481) - you deserved it (2196)
On 11/12/2012 at 8:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5016) - you deserved it (16961)
On 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm - misc - by scaredinnyc - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17047) - you deserved it (1007) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/13/2012 at 4:23pm - work - by makiju - Sent from mobile version
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14101) - you deserved it (2542)
On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16164) - you deserved it (1555)
On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12695) - you deserved it (1646)
On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland
Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11666) - you deserved it (2520)
On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18647) - you deserved it (5215)
On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18141) - you deserved it (1881)
On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17666) - you deserved it (1348)
On 11/15/2012 at 6:34pm - love - by teea (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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