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Sunday 18 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

#20176711
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8204) - you deserved it (9688)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by Anonymous Cunt (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML

#20162787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21287) - you deserved it (2575)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17088) - you deserved it (1980)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML

#20162095
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17746) - you deserved it (3360)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23445) - you deserved it (3246)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

#20175635
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12785) - you deserved it (2217)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9104) - you deserved it (25382)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

#20163512
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12216) - you deserved it (1481)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19596) - you deserved it (2171)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML

#20167155
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20137) - you deserved it (998)

On 11/17/2012 at 7:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14739) - you deserved it (3265)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

#20177960
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6737) - you deserved it (27475)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

#20164798
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22640) - you deserved it (1898)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)



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