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Saturday 17 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

#20163099
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24583) - you deserved it (1799)

On 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML

#20166401
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27226) - you deserved it (5573)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24456) - you deserved it (3295)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

#20169793
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (2350)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23011) - you deserved it (2145)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

#20162862
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34859) - you deserved it (3421)

On 11/14/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by nolove - Australia

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML

#20163899
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26501) - you deserved it (2226)

On 11/15/2012 at 12:48am - love - by B-Rad (man) - United States

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

#20163905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21534) - you deserved it (1728)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Superman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

#20164114
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25788) - you deserved it (8288)

On 11/15/2012 at 8:37am - love - by SweetStuff88 (man) - United States

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (5681)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30069) - you deserved it (5704)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

#20173484
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24933) - you deserved it (5840)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

#20170839
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11149) - you deserved it (30864)

On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)



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