Friday 16 November 2012 
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Today, I called Costco to ask them not to renew my membership because of financial problems. The man on the phone spent 30 minutes telling me why I'm a fool to leave and I ended up with a renewed $55 membership and 25 minutes over my minute allowance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5563) - you deserved it (21850)
On 11/20/2012 at 3:47am - money - by iwannaberich - United States (California)
Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19655) - you deserved it (1885)
On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14579) - you deserved it (1245)
On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19089) - you deserved it (1270)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15799) - you deserved it (880)
On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18349) - you deserved it (1314)
On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7652) - you deserved it (21477)
On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15275) - you deserved it (914)
On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)
Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5379) - you deserved it (24331)
On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17770) - you deserved it (2325)
On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14256) - you deserved it (1574)
On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5598) - you deserved it (26971)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13418) - you deserved it (2471)
On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)
Monday 17 June 2013
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