Wakey Wakey! - FML

Wakey Wakey!

By Anonymous - 15/10/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 544

You deserved it 190

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By whoslade - 28/06/2012 17:36 - United States

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 915

You deserved it 4 586

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 959

You deserved it 12 160

Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 174

By happybidet - 31/10/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 708

You deserved it 880

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 034

You deserved it 3 378

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 815

You deserved it 3 650

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 127

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 961

You deserved it 5 269

Broken equipment

By Anonymous - 21/08/2020 07:08 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument about wanting kids, as I want to have kids but she doesn’t. I explained the situation to my sister. She just kicked me in the nuts and said, “There, problem solved.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 453

Sleep punching is a thing

By Anonymous - 13/09/2021 02:00

Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 101

Next

Top comments

shannon2348 14

Tuesday 15 October 2019 4:55

why is she still your girlfriend? that's abuse. dump her.

DogStew 20

Tuesday 15 October 2019 5:35

Don’t let her do that. If she can’t respect your balls then she needs to go.

Comments

shannon2348 14

Tuesday 15 October 2019 4:55

why is she still your girlfriend? that's abuse. dump her.

DogStew 20

Tuesday 15 October 2019 5:35

Don’t let her do that. If she can’t respect your balls then she needs to go.

BorderCount 5

Tuesday 15 October 2019 9:25

And what, pray tell, did you do to deserve getting punched in the balls?

Seeya55 31

Tuesday 15 October 2019 14:33

It's going to take a lot more than that to not have kids. Maybe you should get into some bdsm to help!

Mungolikecandy 19

Tuesday 15 October 2019 18:12

Did she just randomly punch you in the balls? If so that is not a good relationship.

slym12312425 9

Wednesday 16 October 2019 2:57

Why did she punch you in the balls? More importantly, why is she not you ex-girlfriend after a stunt like that? Simply put, that's abusive behavior. If you woke her up by randomly punching her anywhere, your ass would be in a police car headed to jail within the hour.

Keywords

Relatable Public freakouts Health Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Transportation Cops Kids Fight Family AITA Mother in law Miscellaneous Relationship advice Social Media Love Art Work Students Sleep Noise Animals Birds Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 366

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 91

The Top

Today, it was the first day of my new job. It was also the last day of my new job. I got a call immediately after finishing my shift to be told the company has "decided to go in a different direction" and will no longer be needing my services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 808

You deserved it 847

Today, I learned that my stalker is still trying to weasel their way into my life even after they doxxed me, cyberstalked me, harassed me, threatened me, and attempted blackmail on me. All this just because I told them that their boyfriend groomed me when I was a minor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 92

Today, I told a guy at work about my boyfriend. His immediate response was to ask me if I was making him up. He's the third person to react this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 212

You deserved it 3 921

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 919

You deserved it 5 808

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 8 983

Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 101

You deserved it 3 171