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Friday 16 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21875) - you deserved it (17825)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML

#20165918
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34565) - you deserved it (2760)

On 11/16/2012 at 9:00pm - love - by akiza (woman) - Japan

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (2386)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26083) - you deserved it (1847)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML

#20171204
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35454) - you deserved it (5022)

On 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm - health - by thinner than you (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17157) - you deserved it (35111)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
172 comments

Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML

#20167793
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34663) - you deserved it (3502)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

#20175088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26993) - you deserved it (3628)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35554) - you deserved it (6348)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

#20168405
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42541) - you deserved it (6130)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)



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