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Monday 12 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I received mah first ever hand-job!! It would have been great if she didn't wipe it acros mah facehen I had finished and storm out of the room!! mega FML

Today , after I spent two hours trying to teach my grlfriend to play sudoku , she broke up with me , tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake , imaginary game to make her feel stupid!! FML

#20167793
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, Mah Girlfriend Snappd At Me 4 Bieng Lazy An Incompetent, An Declard That If I Was Going To Behave Like A Child, She Would Be Treating Me Like One. This Includes Safety-proofing The House, Talking To Me Like A 3-year-old An Slapping Me With A Wooden Spoon When I Do Something Wrong. FML

#20162223
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8051) - you deserved it (31093)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Z - Australia

today I had the best sex of looool our relationship with mah boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, lookd me sweetly in the eyes 4 a few moments, then decidd to slap me in the face with it. real FML

#20168405
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38271) - you deserved it (5682)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to fine that while I was passd out someone stole mah prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33301) - you deserved it (6048)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

2DAY I WENT TO SEE MAH FAVORITE BAND. IT WAS ALL AMAZING AN GREAT UNTIL I DECIDED TO GO CROWD SURFING. I WAS MAYBE TOO HEAVY CUZ PEOPLE JUMPED AWAY INSTEAD OF CATCHING ME. I FELL RIGHT ON MAH TAILBONE. FML

#20166417
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7067) - you deserved it (28137)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:56am - health - by lekijkerd - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I Spotted A Girl I Have A Crush On While Grocery Shopping. Before I Could Go Over An Say Hi, I Noticed Her Walk Over An Stroke A Few Kitchen Knives Through Plastic Wrapping. Then I Spotted Her In The Dog Food Section Sniffing Rawhide Bones With Her Eyes Closed, Looking Very Happy. FML

#20165046
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21068) - you deserved it (2795)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by mah CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

#20165792
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22566) - you deserved it (1565)

On 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I decidd to surprise ma boyfriend by waking im up wit a blowjob, because e ad always told me tat it was a sexy fantasy of is . Wen e finally woke up, e got pissd off, rudely accusd me of interrupting is beauty sleep, ten soundly lay back down and fell asleep again . FML

#20169340
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today I witnessd a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens wit stolen goods in is ands. Te manager was running after im. Trying to be elpful I pulld forward to block te tief from getting away. Te cops sowd up an arrestd me fir itting a pedestrian. FML

#20169022
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24381) - you deserved it (4478)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by ausmill12 (man) - United States (Florida)

today I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout mah childhood is actually the sound mah mom makes when she comes!! FML

#20160628
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39021) - you deserved it (2720)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

TODAY, WHILE IN MAH ROOM ON THE COMPUTER, I HAD A SUDDEN URGE TO PEE . I GOT UP TO USE THE LOO AND STARTED HEREING SOME DISTURBING NOISES FROM INSIDE . APPARENTLY I WAS SO QUIET MAH PARENTS THOUGHT I WAS GONE AND DECIDED TO HAVE SEX IN THE SHOWER . IT'S BEEN AN HOUR AND MAH BLADDER IS ABOUT TO BURST . FML

#20163953
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30823) - you deserved it (2685)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggestd a game where we puttd our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation did out, and fereful of having an awkward silence, I checkd my phone. FML

#20160706
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5988) - you deserved it (48942)

On 11/12/2012 at 5:08pm - money - by dgilbs - United States (Michigan)



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