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Sunday 11 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

#20163905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21533) - you deserved it (1728)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Superman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

#20164114
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25789) - you deserved it (8288)

On 11/15/2012 at 8:37am - love - by SweetStuff88 (man) - United States

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (5681)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

#20155172
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (2405)

On 11/08/2012 at 4:22pm - misc - by Anonimo (woman) - Italy (Sardegna)

Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML

#20150517
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30481) - you deserved it (3139)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

#20154142
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22423) - you deserved it (2345)

On 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by ohcrap (man) - United States

Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML

#20148960
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31651) - you deserved it (4030)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by HappinessOrOrgasms (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML

#20155705
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33953) - you deserved it (1845)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

#20162265
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8023) - you deserved it (28829)

On 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm - misc - by scaredinnyc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

#20164798
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30216) - you deserved it (2516)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21409) - you deserved it (2801)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27603) - you deserved it (2725)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

#20150477
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38007) - you deserved it (3747)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)



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