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Saturday 10 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

Today, I discovered that no matter how hot and exhausted you are, being blasted in the face with a high pressure hose is always more painful than refreshing. FML

#20165112
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16184) - you deserved it (9415)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

#20166731
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18383) - you deserved it (1898)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

#20154818
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21533) - you deserved it (1517)

On 11/08/2012 at 9:36am - health - by bob the builder - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

#20156759
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22982) - you deserved it (4012)

On 11/09/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

#20153273
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (2258)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of 2 guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML

#20154873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30837) - you deserved it (2040)

On 11/08/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by mayerstexmex69 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML

#20148569
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21848) - you deserved it (1838)

On 11/05/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22140) - you deserved it (1601)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I flew back home from out of state. When I got back to my house, my bed, furniture, and TV were gone. My girlfriend changed her number and I have no idea where she lives now. FML

#20153491
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (1933)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

#20156173
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18421) - you deserved it (5428)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

#20160454
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23196) - you deserved it (1668)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

#20163199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21132) - you deserved it (1641)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by racking-leaves - United States



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