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Saturday 10 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25542) - you deserved it (2800)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

#20163099
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25892) - you deserved it (1896)

On 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

#20160706
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6917) - you deserved it (52750)

On 11/12/2012 at 5:08pm - money - by dgilbs - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at work, a customer gave me a $20 tip. I explained to him we aren't allowed to accept tips, but he insisted. When I called the manager to report it, he pocketed my tip. FML

#20157115
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14409) - you deserved it (28817)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

#20157197
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33149) - you deserved it (2909)

On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while sitting in a waiting room, a man assured me "The safety's on" after he handed his kid his BB gun. A minute later, I practically had a hole in my foot. FML

#20160435
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23263) - you deserved it (2802)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:12pm - health - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I went to see my favorite band. It was all amazing and great until I decided to go crowd surfing. I was maybe too heavy because people jumped away instead of catching me. I fell right on my tailbone. FML

#20166417
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8061) - you deserved it (30742)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:56am - health - by lekijkerd - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29103) - you deserved it (4149)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML

#20162787
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35312) - you deserved it (4480)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML

#20157954
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29332) - you deserved it (1541)

On 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Me - United States

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

#20158574
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24801) - you deserved it (2897)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

#20159578
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21956) - you deserved it (6308)

On 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm - love - by x (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

#20149647
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28476) - you deserved it (4250)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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