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Friday 9 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

#20162862
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27955) - you deserved it (2733)

On 11/14/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by nolove - Australia

Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear. It hurts so badly that I'm practically in tears. Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed. Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up. FML

#20165827
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29442) - you deserved it (1652)

On 11/16/2012 at 7:30pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Croatia (Primorsko-Goranska)

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

#20149912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28045) - you deserved it (4022)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML

#20150517
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26209) - you deserved it (2737)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML

#20164583
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20139) - you deserved it (1732)

On 11/15/2012 at 6:34pm - love - by teea (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML

#20155705
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24966) - you deserved it (1079)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML

#20160220
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25475) - you deserved it (3059)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

#20162265
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6542) - you deserved it (24838)

On 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm - misc - by scaredinnyc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12697) - you deserved it (22546)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML

#20148960
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26589) - you deserved it (3527)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by HappinessOrOrgasms (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML

#20152648
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12742) - you deserved it (20703)

On 11/07/2012 at 2:31am - misc - by no cake for me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

#20150477
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33085) - you deserved it (3295)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)

Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML

#20162604
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21587) - you deserved it (1466) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/13/2012 at 4:23pm - work - by makiju - Sent from mobile version



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