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Friday 9 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19927) - you deserved it (6415)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at work, a customer gave me a $20 tip. I explained to him we aren't allowed to accept tips, but he insisted. When I called the manager to report it, he pocketed my tip. FML

#20157115
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13456) - you deserved it (27497)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML

#20162787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34395) - you deserved it (4398)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

#20157085
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22746) - you deserved it (3393)

On 11/10/2012 at 1:51am - animals - by Sam l. - United States

Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML

#20150093
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22154) - you deserved it (2890)

On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML

#20152272
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24793) - you deserved it (4361)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18550) - you deserved it (2553)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29767) - you deserved it (2578)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML

#20162095
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27890) - you deserved it (5238)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (2667)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

#20154716
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30269) - you deserved it (2366)

On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

#20163929
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29011) - you deserved it (2266)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:35am - love - by minime94 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the father of my unborn child told me he isn't sure he'll be able to make it to the birth, since there's no guarantee of when it will happen, so he can't schedule time off. This would be understandable if he actually had a job. FML

#20158967
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22635) - you deserved it (5611)

On 11/11/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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