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Friday 9 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16527) - you deserved it (1992)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17754) - you deserved it (3987)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

#20148363
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19407) - you deserved it (4253)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

#20164653
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22632) - you deserved it (1486)

On 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20538) - you deserved it (2994)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was planning on enjoying my one day off work from the hospital, at home. I got a call saying I had to come in because my department was short-handed. I went in to find almost everyone there. Turns out it was a prank by my coworkers. FML

#20148851
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21910) - you deserved it (1421)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:33pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

#20153942
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16869) - you deserved it (1765)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by derve - United States

Today, I paid a locksmith $100 after I locked myself out of my apartment. All he did was hit it, and it flung open. It wasn't locked, it'd just got stuck. FML

#20153207
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8980) - you deserved it (19816)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:00am - money - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML

#20151103
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20527) - you deserved it (1418)

On 11/06/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by rastamerican - United States (California)

Today, I told my boss I could handle running the floor buffer. Thirty seconds in, I lost control and became pinned to the wall by its force. In my state of shock and embarrassment, I didn't realize the only thing keeping me trapped was my grip on the accelerator. FML

#20164988
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6454) - you deserved it (19432)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:04am - work - by rubberduck1 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

#20162727
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8224) - you deserved it (18733)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by talker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML

#20150050
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16536) - you deserved it (1701)

On 11/06/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by Unappreciated Grandchild - United States (Maryland)

Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML

#20163535
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21571) - you deserved it (1605)

On 11/14/2012 at 8:04pm - work - by sarahijklmnop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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