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Friday 9 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

#20158140
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28284) - you deserved it (3696)

On 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML

#20165918
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34566) - you deserved it (2760)

On 11/16/2012 at 9:00pm - love - by akiza (woman) - Japan

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (2386)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22680) - you deserved it (3324)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

#20158993
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28808) - you deserved it (3194)

On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

#20156278
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29899) - you deserved it (7021)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25971) - you deserved it (3286)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27594) - you deserved it (2575)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my birthday. I finally got the PS3 I've been asking for, for a long time. When I opened the box, I didn't find a PS3, but a bunch of clothes that my mom put in my brother's PS3 box. FML

#20157168
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27218) - you deserved it (4019)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:02am - misc - by Shauna (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35554) - you deserved it (6348)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24526) - you deserved it (3166)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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