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Saturday 3 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17732) - you deserved it (3982)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

#20148363
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19371) - you deserved it (4249)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

#20141617
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21029) - you deserved it (1532)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was planning on enjoying my one day off work from the hospital, at home. I got a call saying I had to come in because my department was short-handed. I went in to find almost everyone there. Turns out it was a prank by my coworkers. FML

#20148851
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21882) - you deserved it (1421)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:33pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

#20153942
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16275) - you deserved it (1724)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by derve - United States

Today, I paid a locksmith $100 after I locked myself out of my apartment. All he did was hit it, and it flung open. It wasn't locked, it'd just got stuck. FML

#20153207
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8957) - you deserved it (19774)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:00am - money - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

#20139255
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28600) - you deserved it (4785)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML

#20151103
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20484) - you deserved it (1415)

On 11/06/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by rastamerican - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

#20138654
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16718) - you deserved it (4241)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML

#20144153
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21919) - you deserved it (3055)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:17am - work - by PieterseMJ - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML

#20147982
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26669) - you deserved it (8549)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

#20139053
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8843) - you deserved it (13535)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

#20138696
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18884) - you deserved it (1811)

On 10/29/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by mistickfae - United States



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