Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 3 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother-in-law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML

#20154544
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19500) - you deserved it (1609)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by David (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm so broke, I asked my parents if they'd pay for me to go to the eye doctor and consider it my Christmas present. FML

#20149436
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20529) - you deserved it (1844)

On 11/05/2012 at 8:01pm - money - by EB - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

#20141147
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19857) - you deserved it (2452)

On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally got to attend the concert I have been anticipating for weeks. The band was great. The drunk guy sitting behind me yelling profanity and out of tune lyrics in my ear throughout the entire show, however, was not. FML

#20144110
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14280) - you deserved it (1494)

On 11/02/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by annoyed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

#20139648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4032) - you deserved it (15530)

On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

#20156173
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14279) - you deserved it (4681)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML

#20153910
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18377) - you deserved it (1010)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:28pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17188) - you deserved it (1060)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML

#20146224
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19143) - you deserved it (6528)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML

#20143862
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20212) - you deserved it (1650)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:13am - work - by John - United States

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

#20142730
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15771) - you deserved it (1301)

On 11/01/2012 at 9:52am - work - by tmi. - Australia

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16682) - you deserved it (3856)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

#20145285
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20317) - you deserved it (1264)

On 11/03/2012 at 1:34am - health - by jdch_99 - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: