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Tuesday 30 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML

#20146224
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24226) - you deserved it (7544)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20144868
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22755) - you deserved it (3846)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm - work - by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23676) - you deserved it (1504)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

#20139648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7053) - you deserved it (26080)

On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

#20148363
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (4663)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

#20142730
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21449) - you deserved it (1779)

On 11/01/2012 at 9:52am - work - by tmi. - Australia

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

#20141617
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24436) - you deserved it (1833)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

#20145285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25018) - you deserved it (1616)

On 11/03/2012 at 1:34am - health - by jdch_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was planning on enjoying my one day off work from the hospital, at home. I got a call saying I had to come in because my department was short-handed. I went in to find almost everyone there. Turns out it was a prank by my coworkers. FML

#20148851
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25559) - you deserved it (1694)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:33pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

#20149150
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23864) - you deserved it (3067)

On 11/05/2012 at 5:11pm - money - by Brooklyn - United States (Oregon)

Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML

#20151103
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23906) - you deserved it (1672)

On 11/06/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by rastamerican - United States (California)

Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML

#20147982
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30815) - you deserved it (9426)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

#20139255
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32412) - you deserved it (5269)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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