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Tuesday 30 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28265) - you deserved it (2456)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26169) - you deserved it (2345)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29284) - you deserved it (2826)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML

#20145539
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8990) - you deserved it (31102)

On 11/03/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25633) - you deserved it (2613)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML

#20150093
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22135) - you deserved it (2887)

On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25275) - you deserved it (5221)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. It would have been great if he weren't drunk with a naked girl next to him. FML

#20146861
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28898) - you deserved it (2038)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:50am - love - by bigbum - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

#20142085
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26257) - you deserved it (2413)

On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30880) - you deserved it (6525)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML

#20141262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27166) - you deserved it (3273)

On 10/31/2012 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML

#20144136
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6491) - you deserved it (24421)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:35am - work - by Hornymuch (woman) - Germany

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

#20150477
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37994) - you deserved it (3747)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)



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