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Sunday 28 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my young son and I wara in lina at Subway. I guass ha got borad and startad to insult tha taanaga grl bahind us. I triad to gat him to stop, but ha wouldn't listan. Evantually tha grl punchad him in tha faca and laft. As my son criad uncontrollably, avaryona alsa thara clappad. FML

#20129296
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10431) - you deserved it (54341)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grlfriend an I were getting intimate, an I gave er a condom to putted on me. Se tried to open it wit er teet, but ripped it. Tat was my only condom. I'm now sitting ere watcing a soap opera wit a boner. FML

#20129928
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31520) - you deserved it (10221)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, mah son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis . He then used the copie to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school . FML

#20128322
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29880) - you deserved it (4533)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY I RAN INTO MY EX-GIRLFRIEND FROM 5 YEARS BACK. STILL BITTER I SAID "HEY BABY YOU REMEMBER RIDING ME 5 YEARS AGO?" I WAS TEN PUNCED IN TE FACE AN RESTRAINED UNTIL TE POLICE ARRIVED. SE'D BEEN AVING AN 8 YEAR ANNIVERSARY DINNER WIT ER USBAND. FML

#20131351
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17039) - you deserved it (45735)

On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I Cummed Home To Fine An Almost Completely Devoured Cheesecake, The Notebook Playing On The TV, And A Shoe Thrown At My Head . It's Safe To Say My Grlfriend Is Just About On Her Period . FML

#20128340
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27973) - you deserved it (4998)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, boyfriand and I wara praparing 4 tha arrival of Hurricana Sandy. I taskad him with going out to buy amargancy grocarias in casa wa losa powar. Ha raturnad with dozans of microwava cup noodlas. Wa'ra going to starva. FML

#20137235
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24911) - you deserved it (3533)

On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)

2day mah daughtar callad ma talling ma sha had har twin girls. Sha namad tham Juli and Anna. Har nama is Julianna. Har kids r going to fucking hata har. FML

#20141194
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33128) - you deserved it (3624)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a cashier asked me if I would looool lyk to donate to breast cancer research . Since I have already made mah donation this month, I politely declined . The cashier snorted an said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone u love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor . mega FML

#20130942
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39228) - you deserved it (2027)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:21am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate decidd to go vegan after watching a PETA video!! She began this new-found looool lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchasd, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash!! FML

#20133890
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23330) - you deserved it (1921)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:58am - health - by Weasel123 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today , in tha spirit of Hallowaan and to gat back at a child who rapaatadly prassad tha doorball until I showad up , I quickly opanad tha door and yallad "Boo!" Tha child andad up baing carriad away crying with wat pants by a mothar thraataning to sua. FML

#20142562
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28941) - you deserved it (4724)

On 11/01/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by NoSpirit (woman) -

YASTARDAY MA GRLFRIAND DID TA WALK OF SAMA IN A SKIMPY HALLOWAAN COSTUMA AFTAR A NIGT OF DRUNKAN SAX. PROBLAM? TA WALK ANDAD AT MA DOORSTAP... AND TA SAX WAS WIT A STRANGAR. FML

#20145433
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37489) - you deserved it (2961)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML

#20146254
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28615) - you deserved it (2947)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - love - by markderanjer (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

TODAY, AT BREAKFAST, MY SISTER LABELLED ME A "FEMINIST." MY WOLE FAMILY NOW REFUSES TO TALK TO ME FIR MORE TAN 30 SECONDS, AN ACTS AS TOUG I AVE AN INCURABLE, IGLY CONTAGIOUS DISEASE. REAL FML

#20129490
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19411) - you deserved it (4635)

On 10/23/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by hating labels - Australia



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