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Saturday 27 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32106) - you deserved it (2128)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML

#20143987
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24899) - you deserved it (2624)

On 11/02/2012 at 1:53am - work - by whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27265) - you deserved it (5795)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML

#20135660
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28004) - you deserved it (14890)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by whoreticulturalist (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML

#20146253
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6839) - you deserved it (32692)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by justcomesnaturally (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

#20129237
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32062) - you deserved it (1553)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, trying to be nice, I asked my little sister how school was. She burst into a temper tantrum and screamed at me to fuck off. She's eight. FML

#20132869
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24859) - you deserved it (2388)

On 10/25/2012 at 3:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

#20135378
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53180) - you deserved it (2879)

On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

#20136629
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22316) - you deserved it (4223)

On 10/28/2012 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29786) - you deserved it (2773)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML

#20145539
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9626) - you deserved it (32908)

On 11/03/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a field trip with some people from school. I'm currently confined to a wheelchair, so I had to rely on my sister to get around. She eventually went off with her friends, assuming that the people nearby would keep me company. Five minutes later, they'd all left me. FML

#20135712
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26017) - you deserved it (1931)

On 10/27/2012 at 4:04pm - misc - by left4dead (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32699) - you deserved it (3151)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)



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