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Saturday 27 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (2877)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I showed my friends the picture I drew picturing the four of us in a 'zombie apocalypse' setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend, and I'm creeping them out. FML

#20128150
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (8131)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36742) - you deserved it (2654)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

#20134676
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34375) - you deserved it (2028)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

#20127667
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32422) - you deserved it (1783)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

#20133872
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22219) - you deserved it (3041)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML

#20132044
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9726) - you deserved it (32525)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm - money - by onlyme (woman) - United States

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23799) - you deserved it (3570)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

#20135128
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24616) - you deserved it (3663)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's probably been there for months. He looked at it and said, "Well, that explains a lot." FML

#20132432
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20967) - you deserved it (4451)

On 10/25/2012 at 5:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, while studying liver pathology and highlighting important lines in my textbook, I realized that I could count the number of words I hadn't highlighted on one hand, over the last six pages. FML

#20143160
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18920) - you deserved it (8530)

On 11/01/2012 at 5:18pm - misc - by ThisisMedSchool - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

#20129768
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22098) - you deserved it (4203)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:01pm - misc - by afraidofcans - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got back my history paper. The whole paper had been crossed out and at the end, my professor had written "Really?!" I still don't know what I did wrong. FML



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