Saturday 27 October 2012 
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Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21014) - you deserved it (1971)
On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)
Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18208) - you deserved it (1946)
On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)
Today, after 6 months of training and going to the gym every day, I realized that the only thing I've lost is $300 worth of gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14058) - you deserved it (3817)
On 10/24/2012 at 9:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18556) - you deserved it (2159)
On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States
Today, I went bowling. I noticed a 10-year-old holding an iPod Touch which had the exact same customized case with my name on it as my iPod that was stolen a year ago at the same bowling centre. Even better, the parents yelled at me for accusing him. I got kicked out the bowling centre. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (1701)
On 10/26/2012 at 5:40am - misc - by davifilo (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my husband was planning on getting me my favorite movie as an anniversary present; I ended up buying it. He had to give me the money and leave because he is severely arachnophobic and couldn't even pick up the box. I have to hide the movie for fear of it being destroyed. Again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10355) - you deserved it (2715)
On 10/26/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7020) - you deserved it (50190)
On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25558) - you deserved it (1535)
On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15259) - you deserved it (10483)
On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21996) - you deserved it (1548)
On 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24386) - you deserved it (1323)
On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States
Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13352) - you deserved it (2603)
On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18345) - you deserved it (1551)
On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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