Today, I wrecked my car and got rushed to the emergency room. While strapped to a gurney, a nurse reached in my back pocket, grabbed my wallet and pulled the velcro keeping my wallet shut. The entire room immediately started laughing as condoms and loose change went flying everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13313) - you deserved it (2566)
On 05/04/2012 at 10:34am - misc - by UnderConstruction (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally found out what the horrible smell at work was. A rat had decided to make its home in our emergency exit sign and had been fried by the electricity. I now have to fix this. Hello scorched dead rat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15008) - you deserved it (1126)
On 05/03/2012 at 5:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14745) - you deserved it (5549)
On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12723) - you deserved it (2951)
On 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm - misc - by BTM13 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad found a couple of coins on the floor next to my desk, and gave me a lecture about how money doesn't grow on trees and how irresponsible I am when it comes to money. They were Chuck E. Cheese tokens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14472) - you deserved it (1492)
On 05/07/2012 at 12:12am - money - by rofindie (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had a huge yard sale. Since I live in a good neighborhood, I decided to leave the stuff out tonight rather than pack it all in for only a few hours. The news didn't say anything about the impending severe thunderstorm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5171) - you deserved it (19012)
On 05/06/2012 at 3:38am - misc - by penguindude82 - United States (Texas)
Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16063) - you deserved it (4368)
On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17652) - you deserved it (2938)
On 05/05/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by CALIdime_15 - United States
Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8330) - you deserved it (26575)
On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at my job life-guarding, when a woman pushed the spine-board over, hitting me on the back of my head. She laughed, but I now have a concussion and a stiff neck, and my co-workers can't stop laughing at the "irony." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12663) - you deserved it (866)
On 05/08/2012 at 10:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my fiancé and I appeared in the paper for obtaining our marriage license. In the same column half way down his parents appeared for filing their marriage dissolution petition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12699) - you deserved it (1065)
On 05/04/2012 at 3:19am - love - by Queen_Dread - United States (Washington)
Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16139) - you deserved it (5469)
On 05/05/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by 464424 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13622) - you deserved it (2627)
On 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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