Tuesday 24 April 2012 
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Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13524) - you deserved it (9450)
On 04/29/2012 at 7:56pm - love - by -insert clever nickname here- - United States (Washington)
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37640) - you deserved it (2686)
On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)
Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18223) - you deserved it (12571)
On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20173) - you deserved it (1639)
On 05/01/2012 at 12:17pm - health - by karmafails (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22158) - you deserved it (2566)
On 04/26/2012 at 10:43am - love - by Aus (woman) - United States
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18063) - you deserved it (1542)
On 04/26/2012 at 12:36am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17418) - you deserved it (1587)
On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19612) - you deserved it (5809)
On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19063) - you deserved it (2135)
On 04/25/2012 at 6:43pm - love - by anyoi (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17277) - you deserved it (1283)
On 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm - work - by A Henderson (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16018) - you deserved it (2689)
On 04/28/2012 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Elise - United States
Today, I watched "Rain Man" with my family. The whole time they kept exclaiming, "Omigod! That's just like Kate!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12140) - you deserved it (1685)
On 04/29/2012 at 11:22am - misc - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone seemed interested, and was especially curious to know if I could "model" it for him, in "stockings and suspenders." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16755) - you deserved it (2327)
On 04/30/2012 at 11:50am - intimacy - by NotAModel (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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