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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39283) - you deserved it (2604)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML

#20537238
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38288) - you deserved it (9132)

On 03/09/2013 at 6:03pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

#20542468
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39947) - you deserved it (3892)

On 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

#20560709
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37754) - you deserved it (5362)

On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

#20555435
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38789) - you deserved it (18420)

On 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

#20551973
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46787) - you deserved it (6442)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States

Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML

#20561087
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50579) - you deserved it (4119)

On 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm - love - by Megan - United States

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

#20556107
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50465) - you deserved it (3234)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

#20561180
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38143) - you deserved it (4652)

On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML

#20544812
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35939) - you deserved it (4810)

On 03/15/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

#20562542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59040) - you deserved it (4035)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

#20560730
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51607) - you deserved it (6752)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML



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