Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25649) - you deserved it (2647)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16221) - you deserved it (27146)
On 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50761) - you deserved it (10775)
On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28058) - you deserved it (20057)
On 03/19/2013 at 5:59am - work - by Luke - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26081) - you deserved it (5141)
On 03/17/2013 at 1:05am - love - by jisaac09 (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29150) - you deserved it (1636)
On 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by grandson of a p.o.s. (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29167) - you deserved it (11780)
On 03/21/2013 at 6:01am - intimacy - by meeee (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33699) - you deserved it (2455)
On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37473) - you deserved it (2335)
On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35228) - you deserved it (5210)
On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States
Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (4378)
On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34361) - you deserved it (3687)
On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30246) - you deserved it (6094) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Friday 24 May 2013
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