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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML

#20564887
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38962) - you deserved it (3307)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:37am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41261) - you deserved it (3187)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML

#20556028
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42349) - you deserved it (2929)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by WTFLY (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML

#20533403
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29359) - you deserved it (2966)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Drew (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad and I had an hour-long conversation. When he was getting up to leave my room he said, "Good talk Chelsey." My sister is Chelsey. So I corrected him. He thought I was joking. My father can't tell my sister and I apart. We are not twins. FML

#20535549
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38542) - you deserved it (2410)

On 03/08/2013 at 5:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

#20562430
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53054) - you deserved it (5996)

On 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

#20566329
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41961) - you deserved it (2933)

On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

#20554757
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34030) - you deserved it (3360)

On 03/22/2013 at 6:49am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to endure a long face-to-face conversation with a coworker who had fierce BO. He had his fingers interlaced around the back of his head the whole time. FML

#20554899
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32658) - you deserved it (2674)

On 03/22/2013 at 11:01am - work - by stankness - United States

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

#20550170
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35003) - you deserved it (17202)

On 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by amberrenee91 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while serving two middle-aged women at the coffee shop, I was screamed at and accused of being a "sexist and chauvinistic bastard." This was prompted by me charging one of them 40 cents for the addition of steamed milk, which is clearly stated on the price sheet. FML

#20547816
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32563) - you deserved it (2452)

On 03/17/2013 at 3:00pm - work - by innocentbarista (man) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

#20565796
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40875) - you deserved it (8968)

On 03/29/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by sarajj (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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