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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

#20544502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48392) - you deserved it (5519)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after six months of writing a 40 page paper criticizing a famous method, I found out the professor who conceived it has transferred to my favorite college to head the department I'm applying to study in. They require I submit the paper with my application. FML

#20548512
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31664) - you deserved it (4440)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:09pm - work - by GeoKid (man) - Canada

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

#20534297
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31316) - you deserved it (11428)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML

#20551761
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39974) - you deserved it (2592)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:55am - misc - by really? (woman) - United States

Today, a man I once worked with passed away. He was a lovely, caring, and inspirational person whom I looked up to. My husband's form of consolation? "Old people die. Get over it." FML

#20538776
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30663) - you deserved it (3559)

On 03/10/2013 at 10:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

#20539367
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26571) - you deserved it (2612)

On 03/11/2013 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was being interviewed for an amazing job when I was asked what animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt, I picked the first thing that came to me. I responded with, "I'd be a turtle because I'm really slow sometimes." FML

#20531284
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23294) - you deserved it (16707)

On 03/04/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by seriously (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML

#20530703
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32241) - you deserved it (6917)

On 03/04/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33419) - you deserved it (5045)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I tried to go to my Hotmail account on my boyfriend's computer. When I typed in "hot", a big history list came down. It was all "Hot single mom looking for a good lay" Craigslist ads. FML

#20540391
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31295) - you deserved it (3682)

On 03/12/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

#20566302
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42527) - you deserved it (3570) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm - love - by Badam - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I realized how badly medical education has ruined me when I couldn't enjoy erotic literature because of one subtle anatomy mistake the author made. FML

#20565229
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36098) - you deserved it (8385)

On 03/29/2013 at 10:19am - intimacy - by notagyno - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37129) - you deserved it (2849)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada



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