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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

#20552400
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42529) - you deserved it (4942)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML

#20553362
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38607) - you deserved it (16457)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:01am - intimacy - by meeee (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML

#20538296
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13857) - you deserved it (44519)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:54pm - misc - by human lava lamp (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend found out about my severe phobia of moths. It's so bad that I sometimes pass out. He caught a moth in a jar, and put it on my bedside table. I woke up, saw it, and had a panic attack. He recorded it all and wants to upload it to YouTube. FML

#20544812
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35756) - you deserved it (4797)

On 03/15/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML

#20561087
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47862) - you deserved it (3906)

On 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm - love - by Megan - United States

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

#20562542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55943) - you deserved it (3786)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I figured I needed to clean my room. I ended up finding my $135 calculator that I'd accused my ex-boyfriend of selling for gas money. That's also the reason I dumped him. FML

#20539612
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9499) - you deserved it (69600)

On 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm - money - by supertango500 (woman) - United States

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

#20551973
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44705) - you deserved it (6215)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

#20527434
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33138) - you deserved it (8099)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

#20529151
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46038) - you deserved it (5898)

On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML

#20548954
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13185) - you deserved it (52591)

On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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