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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30964) - you deserved it (3343)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38255) - you deserved it (2154)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

#20524572
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33979) - you deserved it (7105)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38071) - you deserved it (8943)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

#20490582
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47868) - you deserved it (3306)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20616) - you deserved it (38069)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

#20490556
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38199) - you deserved it (4955)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

#20518576
157 comments

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

#20495286
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47332) - you deserved it (5472)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States

Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML

#20507681
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39753) - you deserved it (3884)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

#20492128
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32822) - you deserved it (4009)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39072) - you deserved it (10320)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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