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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

#20492128
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36877) - you deserved it (4460)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
175 comments

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43099) - you deserved it (11413)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41822) - you deserved it (6473)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

#20504494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9882) - you deserved it (54353)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she find someone better than me. FML

#20518428
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49388) - you deserved it (4161)

On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42374) - you deserved it (9609)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML

#20500417
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37504) - you deserved it (3528)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by Totallyscrewed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

#20513411
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46810) - you deserved it (2482)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26825) - you deserved it (10212)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23516) - you deserved it (41125)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

#20490556
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42168) - you deserved it (5314)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML

#20507681
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43874) - you deserved it (4259)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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