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February 2013

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I'm so poor tat I've been scrounging around ma ouse all day trying looool to find quarters and dimes so tat I can buy myself a cup of coffee tomorrow. FML

#20521315
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26529) - you deserved it (6108)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today..!! I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them!! I played 4 four hours straight..!! only to be interrupted by a phone call!! I didn't answer cuz my sock puppets were ( on a date ) and I didn't want to stop playing!! FML

#20489987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31755) - you deserved it (20466)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, I bougt a fis!! I puttd te tank on top of te fridge so ma cat wouldn't get at it!! I'd forgotten to buy some tings 4 its tank, so I quickly ran out to get tem!! Wen I got ome, I saw te tank destroyd on te floor, an ma cat devouring ma fis!! I ad te fis 4 less tan an our!! FML

#20497647
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16462) - you deserved it (25948)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:58pm - animals - by fish killer - Canada

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they r made of a fish bi-product!! Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there r countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard!! FML

#20502144
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31839) - you deserved it (3937)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I started at new job!! Te womano I'll be working rigt next to 40 ours a week introduced erself wit, ( I knowat your name is!! I knowat you're planning, an I've been sent to destroy you!! )

#20512419
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30919) - you deserved it (3416)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

during a sleepover at mah friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was mah friend's sister's One Direction cutout. real FML

#20525715
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24815) - you deserved it (4334)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

TODAY I POINTD OUT TO MAH BOYFRIEND HOW VALENTINE'S DAY, MAH BIRTHDAY, AN OUR ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY WERE ALL COMING UP IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. HE THEN PROMPTLY BROKE UP WITH ME. FML

#20497809
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34566) - you deserved it (8219)

On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States

Yesterday... I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

#20524792
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35317) - you deserved it (3753)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by segal1010 - United States (Maryland)

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on mah chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, mah 11-year-old daughter cummd over and bangd out 12 of them. Then she wipd her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on mah technique. FML

#20493569
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30656) - you deserved it (6690)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Today, I was making lunc, wen ma two-year-old ran up to me and anded me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending te rest of ma day cleaning te entire ouse. FML

Today.. . I got mah results on a recent.. . important midterm . During the exam.. . I'd noticed mah instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet.. . so bieng honest.. . I didn't look at them . It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass . I failed . FML

#20515105
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34071) - you deserved it (13949)

On 02/20/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by its ok to cheat!? - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip!! There was a shift in geres and the metal in the seat began to vibrate!! My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing!! It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm!! FML

#20523671
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44830) - you deserved it (5624)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today... I emailed 10 parents inviting them to my son's birthday party. All 10 emailed back saying their kids had to get a cavity filled. mega FML

#20517380
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32929) - you deserved it (3413)

On 02/22/2013 at 9:51am - kids - by Paris101 - United States (Missouri)



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