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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a half-hour conversation with my parents about going to college. I don't know what's worse, that they were trying to talk me out of it or that they're convinced that I'm going to get knocked up and drop out by the end of my freshman year. FML

#20492659
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26081) - you deserved it (2936)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML

#20521938
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32683) - you deserved it (6684)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by HeatherRosure18 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27458) - you deserved it (3289)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27626) - you deserved it (9521)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26192) - you deserved it (8640)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, l took my new boyfriend to the place where my ex and I used to hook up, only to find out that my ex and his new girl had the same idea. FML

#20517120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16955) - you deserved it (52663)

On 02/22/2013 at 1:12am - intimacy - by wrongplacewrongtime - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38832) - you deserved it (9294)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got left in the middle of slow dancing with a girl I liked. She came back and said, "Sorry, I had to make sure the guy I really like knows that I don't like you." FML

#20501645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37100) - you deserved it (2194)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by Greg (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27755) - you deserved it (2264)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

#20503420
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25298) - you deserved it (3912)

On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML

#20502338
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30346) - you deserved it (7351)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

#20489307
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29392) - you deserved it (4165)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, my furnace broke down, almost a month after its twenty year warranty expired. It would have been replaced for free. Now I'm going to have to take out a loan to afford the $4,000 replacement. FML

#20500397
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27829) - you deserved it (2428)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by chillyinside - Canada



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