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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

#20513411
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36218) - you deserved it (1547)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29326) - you deserved it (2875)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

#20498998
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27199) - you deserved it (7447)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

#20518576
155 comments

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19426) - you deserved it (8656)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15564) - you deserved it (32336)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

#20524308
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28029) - you deserved it (4697)

On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

#20492128
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27772) - you deserved it (3476)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33596) - you deserved it (7839)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

#20521664
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25546) - you deserved it (5916)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36215) - you deserved it (2964)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

#20499258
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31526) - you deserved it (3126)

On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

#20520338
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27286) - you deserved it (5016)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)



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